


Noctis Doesn't Work Here, Lady!

by Hemmlock



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Gen, Harassment, Mistaken Identity, Please stop talking to me, Prompto is a fucking angel, how do tags work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-24 03:12:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 996
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18562738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hemmlock/pseuds/Hemmlock
Summary: The one time someone doesn't recognize Noctis while grocery shopping.





	Noctis Doesn't Work Here, Lady!

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written anything in about ten years, please be gentle with me.
> 
> Thanks to Araqiel_Asmodeus for helping come up with the idea!

It was finally a three day weekend, Noctis and Prompto are almost ready for the seventy two hours of binge gaming. Just a few things left and they'll be set.

Prompto has the list of snacks, Noctis has the drink list. They split off to save time grocery shopping and have more time gaming.

The drink aisle is a mess; boxes strewn across the floor, everything mixed into the wrong places. Noctis thinks Ignis might have a heart attack if he were here. Finding the required beverages takes more time than Noctis would like, as he moves multiple boxes out of the walkway. Why would someone put these here?

As he loads his last liter into the cart her hears a cough behind him, much closer than anyone should be to a stranger. Whipping around Noctis sees a woman, staring daggers at him. Noctis immediately thinks that she looks kind of like the kind of parent who gets way too into whatever their child's sport of choice is. She is immaculate, makeup on point, not a single hair out of place, cloths fashionable but not trendy, perfectly manicured nails clutching a designer hand bag.

"Excuse me," she says in a tone that says that whatever Noctis was doing, it was wrong.

"Oh, uh, sorry," Noctis mumbles as he pushes his cart of liquid sugary goodness out of the way, thinking he might be in front of something she wanted.

The woman huffs, irritated about something. "Where do you think you're going?"

Noctis can't help but glance around, surely she's taking to someone else, but they're the only two people in the isle and she's still uncomfortably close.

"I'm, uh, going to go find my friend?"

This seems to be the wrong thing to say as the woman goes from irritated to one hundred in under a second. "No!" She practically screams, "You have to tell me where the cat food is!"

What?

"I-I'm sorry, I- what?"

"Are you kidding me?!" Noctis is worried she's going to start frothing at the mouth soon. "What kind of employee doesn't know where cat food is!"

Noctis' brain short circuits. "Wha- I don't, uh... I don't work here?"

A vein in the womans forehead bulged, Noctis hoped it wouldn't burst under the pressure. "What are you talking about! Of course you work here! You're in the uniform and I see you here all the time!"

It felt as though his brain was wading through sludge as Noctis tried to parse what this escaped mental patient was saying. He didn't usually come to this store, opting to go to the corner store closer to his apartment. He looked down at his school uniform, green blazer, white shirt, striped tie, no this looked nothing like the bright red polo shirts the staff wore.

"Um... noooo...?" Noctis was beginning to think he was being punked.

Then the unthinkable happens. The creature, Noctis can no longer think of her as a woman, grabs him by the arm and begins trying to drag him with her.

"Liar! I'll find your manager and get you fired!"

Noctis can't think, what is this harpy doing? Who does she think she is? Even if he were an employee how would this be at all acceptable behavior for a grown woman? What is going on?

"Excise me," the voice of an angel cuts though the angry tirade. "Would you mind telling me what's going on?"

Prompto is there, smiling a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes. And in those eyes Noctis can see murder. If this witch doesn't release him there's going to be a crime scene in the soda isle.

The woman looks triumphant, now she can really show this lazy grocery store worker who's boss.

"Finally, a manager! Your employee was ignoring me and when I asked for help he assaulted me!" An evil light shone in her eyes, "I want him fired!"

Prompto shook his head. "Those are some serious accusations, if we hadn't had trouble with him in the past I'd have to review the security tapes." He looked as Noctis, who was now trying desperately not to laugh. "Sorry, man, but you're fired. Can't have someone like you in this store."

The woman finally let Noctis' arm go, the death grip she'd had on it had left angry red marks that would likely bruise.

She smirked at him, "That's what you get, you lazy bastatd!"

Prompto dumped the snacks he was carrying into the cart and started to wheel it away, Noctis following behind, trying not to break his ribs in silent laughter.

"Hey! Where do you think you're going?! I still need to buy cat food!"

Prompto turned, "Oh, I'm sorry ma'am, but I have to escort him out, as he's not an employee here. But cat food is on aisle forty-eight," he gave his best disarming smile.

"Oh, okay." The woman didn't quite look please with the out come, but didn't seem to be fighting it. "At leas one of you knows how to do your job."

As she turned and walked away Prompto picked up his pace until he and Noctis were practically jogging to checkout.

"We have to hurry," Prompto almost couldn't contain himself, "I don't think there is an aisle forty-eight."

The two boys managed to make it through the self checkout in record time, grabbing their bags and rushing to the door. They were only ten feet from freedom when they heard it: the unmistakable screech of unadulterated rage from a perfectly manicured daemon.

"Stop!" The she-beast screamed. They could almost imagine the flames licking out of her mouth as she tried to charge them.

Cackling Noctis and Prompto sprinted for the door, running for a good three blocks before slowing to a walk. They laughed the rest of the way back to Noctis' apartment, vowing never to go to that grocery store again, even if the next closest one was kind of out of their way.


End file.
